Darrah Parker » Slice of Life Photography

this one’s for the mamas (myself included)

I look at the floor
Strewn with toys
Hoping nobody sees
How many of them are plastic

I look in the mirror and
Suck in my gut
The one I earned
The one that carried life

I look in my closet
Searching for something that will
Make me feel sexy and instead
I put on the “I give up” dress (again)

I look at what others are doing
Creating, writing, losing weight, gaining money
And think they are doing more/better
While I’m doing less than/not enough

But none of these stories are true
They are made up
Fabricated
Useless

What if I looked at myself
The way I look at other mamas?
With gentleness
With tender loving care

What if I treated myself to what I needed most?
A break
A hug
A pedicure

What if I stopped gauging my success
Based on the stories I tell myself about others
And collected baby giggles, tearful snuggles, Goodnight Moons
As evidence of a Job Well Done?

What if I reminded myself
Over and over
That I am doing
The Most Important Work There Is?

What if I changed the story?

show hide 5 comments

Alizabeth Rasmussen - August 9, 2012 - 6:39 am

Oh, the comparison game…such a dangerous trap, but one we all fall into from time to time. We do have the choice to tell ourselves another story. And I’ve also found it helpful to remind myself that I don’t know the other person’s whole story. I end up comparing their best with my worst, not taking into consideration the struggles, challenges, and insecurities that they no doubt wrestle with themselves.

I absolutely love the line about collecting giggles and snuggles and Good Night Moons as evidence of a Job Well Done. THAT is what it’s all about…giving ourselves credit for doing the very best we can and for prioritizing well.

Thank you for this!

Celina - August 9, 2012 - 7:09 am

Thank yo so much for your words. I have loved watching your parenting journey. You are doing a great job!

Beryl - August 9, 2012 - 4:27 pm

This is beautiful and so eloquently written. These are words, thoughts, phrases that could’ve come from the inside of my brain too Darrah. If we lived closer I’d say we should schedule a date to go get that pedicure together. xo.

Mazel - August 9, 2012 - 4:33 pm

I love the way you analyze your daily life NOW! A treasure trove of emotion you may forget when all the other wonders of parenthood envelop you. Years from now your Sadie Rose will share these precious moments with you both.Sage advice to all new parents. How did you get so smart so soon?♥

mommy - August 11, 2012 - 11:21 am

You have a way to say things that others feel but cannot express them the way you do. It’s difficult to converse with you when you and Sadie are around – you are usually feeding, changing, or cooing with her. But you connect with your feelings and express them when you are alone. It’s amazing how life shifts when you have a child.

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