Now, I’m about to share a deep, dark secret. Something I’m not proud of. Something that most people usually don’t want other people to see, let alone complete strangers. And that secret: I have a messy office. There. I said it.
Recently, I read this post by Cairene that talked about making deals with your “future self.” The idea is that we look at our to-do list and decide what would make your “future self” most happy. It may be something that your “present self” doesn’t feel like doing, but you know that you will be so grateful that it is completed in the future.
This idea really got me thinking. There are so many things I procrastinate about, but lately, I’ve been procrastingating about my office. Why is it that I put off the most simple things? Like cleaning my office. And the longer I put it off, the more messy the room gets. And the more messy the room gets, the more excuses I make for not cleaning it. Even worse, I use it as an excuse for not getting “real” work done.
When we moved into this house over a year ago, I couldn’t believe my luck that I would have my own space. It was a given that Jason would have his own space because he worked from home. But me? I’d always dreamt of having a room with an easel and a desk and pretty things that inspired me. So I set up the easel and desk, I even blogged about creating a studio space.
And that was that.
When I quit my job in November, I thought I’d be using my office all the time. I would spend my days in my office and Jason would work from his office and…ladeedadeedaaaa! Instead, I walk into my office twice a day – once in the morning to change my clothes and once in the evening to put on my pj’s (my office also holds my clothes.) I have taken to camping out with my laptop at the dining room table while my office gets messier and I find more reasons not to go in there.
I’m starting to think that this is a test. My manipulative little brain is telling me it’s okay to let things accumulate, but that accumulation is weighing on me. Just knowing that the room is messy and abandoned is almost like I’ve abandoned something bigger. It’s like I’ve given up on something. And after several attempts at cleaning the room, I’m starting to realize there might be something deeper going on here.
I’m not exactly clear on what all this means and I’m not trying to read into something that might simply be a messy room, but I know it’s time to take action. I can’t move forward until I make space for growth and ideas. And right now, my mental space is a reflection of my physical space. Or maybe it’s the other way around. And to be completely honest, I’m just plain sick of complaining about it. There are so many more important things in life to be concerned about. This should be no big deal.
So being that this week’s Slice of Life prompt is “New Beginnings,” I thought it would be appropriate to have a fresh start. I will be putting away the dress I wore for New Years (finally), going through the pile of old jeans that don’t fit me anymore, putting away remnants of the wedding (we got married in SEPTEMBER), and sifting through the papers and letters strewn across my desk.
Maybe by sifting through all of the mess I will uncover the reason why I’ve let it go this long. Or maybe I’ll find some chocolate. That would be awesome.
Take a look around you. Is your mental space a reflection of your physical space? Are you postponing a project around the house or making excuses for not putting away that basket of laundry? What would happen if you tackled it today? I bet your “future self” would be grateful that your “present self” made the space in your life that you so deserve!
And on that note, my “present self” is off to clean my office.