Release (v): To free from something that binds, fastens, or holds back; let go.
Release (n): A deliverance or liberation, as from confinement, restraint, or suffering.
I can’t believe I’m just now realizing this, but I think I’m a perfectionist. The realization happened at the most unlikely time, in a most unlikely place.
I was getting a massage.
Yes, on the first day of the year, I laid on a massage table and for the life of me, I couldn’t relax. After a few minutes, I discovered the problem: I was trying really hard to be a perfect massage receiver.
I mean, who does that?
It turns out that I do. I found myself making every effort to put my arms where they were supposed to be, breathe when I was supposed to breathe, and focus on the soft sounds of the music just perfectly.
And then a word came to me like a wave: RELEASE.
From that point forward, I relaxed like I’ve never relaxed before. Every time I found myself perfecting the art of receiving a massage, I brought myself back to the word.
Release. Real ease.
Over dinner that night, I told my husband about my experience and that I thought maybe, just maybe, that I was a perfectionist. He knowingly chuckled, like he’s known this all along. He recalled something I spent hours on the night before that could have been done in less time. I justified it and told him that wasn’t perfectionism. That was just me wanting it to get it ‘just right.’
Oh.
Another light bulb.
And then he said this: “Nobody is asking you to get things ‘just right.’”
Nobody, except myself.
So yeah, maybe this perfectionism thing runs deeper than I thought. Maybe my need to control the details of my life and those around me isn’t doing anyone any good. Mind you, I get joy out of perfecting my photos and getting things just right for my clients, but it needs to stop there. Every time, I feel myself going down the slippery slope, I will think of my word.
Release.
So there it is. My word for 2011.
This year will be all about releasing. Releasing the need for things to be perfect, releasing expectations, letting go of the need for things to happen a certain way or in a certain order, freeing myself from the shackles I put on myself and welcoming real ease.
It’s time for liberation.
Do you have a word for 2011? I’d love to know what it is.
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I’m over at Roots of She today, chatting about new beginnings and how I’ll be letting my word guide my internal GPS. Stop by and say hello, will you?
If you’re wondering what my word for 2010 was, you can check it out here.
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It's a great word Darrah – and one, as a recovering perfectionist, that I can totally relate to! Have you read "The Gifts of Imperfection" by Brene Brown? If not, you might consider adding it to your reading list. You can find Brene at http://www.ordinarycourage.com
My word for this year is "happy"
Oh boy, this definitely hit home for me in many many ways! In both giving and receiving massage, it's incredibly challenging for me to turn off the striving part of my head and go with the flow. My word for '11 is rooted. Trying to be less drifty this year, more settled in myself and the physical world. (P.S. I'm here via Roots of She. Loved your post over there today too!)
What a great word Darrah, I enjoyed reading how you found it. Have you read Brené Browns book on perfection? It sounds like something you could use this year as you release some of that! I've written about my word + creative goals in my post from yesterday!
Thanks for the comments, ladies. I've been a big fan of Brene's for some time now, but haven't picked up the book yet. Maybe it's time!
Oh Darrah – if I hadn't already choosen my work for the year – I would have this one….it derscribes me perfectly…and I too have said many times where every detail has to be right….it becomes my obsession sometimes…but Im working on it. My word for 2011 is ACHIEVE… (still to blog about it – hopefully in the next day or two after my blog makeover is done!) I want to ACHIEVE so much this year…one step at a time…and yes by letting go of the "perfectionism" that always seems to be holding me back.
I am looking forward to participating as well in Slice of Life Tuesday…I took my photo yesterday..but again working on the redo before I load it up. Looking forward to the new year ahead! Good luck on your "RELEASE"
My dance teacher always say: Relax your eyebrows. This is a good remark most of the time.
love your post today! i haven't fully committed to "having" a word for the year, but if I do, it will be SPACE.
mine is PEACE
this post made me chuckle! perfectionism ~ it's a common plague these days. but releasing sounds like a mighty fine thing to do
my word for the year is power. as in… the literal physical power to actually ride my little bike from this here city to that one your sitting in, and beyond. as in… letting go of the stories that keep me small and serve no one and stepping into my power. as in… the opposite of "can't" "stuck" or "not enough". power. not just mine, but ours. the power of living things. and the greater power that is holding all our little powers together.
hi, lovely darah!!
long time no "see".
just wanted to stop by and wish you a happy new year and see what is new.
i have some news… i'm pregnant!!
so my world is hugely different since finding out.
it will make my 2011 the best year of my life, i'm sure.
i love your word for 2011.
and i love how you saw the two words… real and ease… with in it's sum.
fabulous!!
i hope you have been well.
it is a goal to try to visit more often in 2011… especially the blogs that are in my roll… like yours!
happy new year to you.
hugs,
~georgia
Purpose. It will require personal reflection, focus and simplifying. It will be about analyzing my life and determining how the pieces fit together. It will be making sure that this year’s journey will have purpose.
Love the story Darrah! I'm a control freak (something that a coworker made me aware of a couple years ago), so I can relate.
I haven't decided on a word yet, but yours is great!
what a great word! i am a perfectionist as well, so your words hit home for me.
my word for 2011 is 'promise'. i am focusing more on me (hope that doesn't sound too egotisticsl), as i care for so many people on a daily basis. so i am vowing to keep my promises to myself.
Hi Darrah,
I wrote a comment over at Roots of She and then realized that you were you and not Jenn! LOL… oh well, I love both your blogs. Do you know Lance Ekum? He is the one who got me started on sharing a word for the year but who knows? Maybe he got it from you or you got it from someone totally different and then he got it from them as well? Life is a giant web. Nice to meet you!
Amy
I found your article most inspiring. I, too, suffer from the disease. I am recovering, though I find it would be a quicker healing if I am able to recognize the desire for perfection sooner. For me the perfectionism is somewhat paralyzing. It leads to procrastination which "gives" me the excuse of saying "it was the best I could do in the time I had" therefore releasing me from getting it perfect. Enough with the problem.
My word/phrase is "traction then action". I have no problem dreaming, visioning, planning, strategizing, problemsolving-even before I know there is a problem. Putting those ideas, dreams and visions to palpable action is where I fall short. So this year is a year of action, participation, experimentation, elation at the results however they materialize. Whatever the results reveal admit about me, I will stand proud of my accomplishments and creations and the simple fact that "i did it".